Why I'm Afraid of Birds

UNBELIEVABLE!

A pigeon crashed into the side of my head as I crossed the street today. I'm SHOOK!

He just flew off like it was nothing!

No remorse, no hope of justice ever being served.

He may assail some other poor, innocent bystanders.

What is to be done?

What can be done!?

The local shop owners on their cigarette breaks laughed and pointed at the silly foreign blonde girl with the red bandana and indubitable head trauma. I flushed red behind my dark mask.

I was--I am--humiliated. I may never recover.

These birbs are out of control and must be stopped!